- parents: ugh newborns are awful i havent slept in weeks and they cost so much
- parents: ugh toddlers are awful everything is broken and i havent slept past 5 in weeks and they cost so much
- parents: ugh children are awful all they do is want want want and never give back and they cost so much
- parents: ugh pre teens are awful for many many reasons
- parents: ugh teenagers are awful theyre lazy slobs who dont do anything and they cost so much
- parents: having kids ruined my body, my house, my bank, and my social life
- kid/teen/young adult/adult: i dont want kids
- parent: wHaaATT YOU DONT WANT KIDS? HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT THEM THEYRE WONDERFUL YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND WHEN YOU GET OLDER
- DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
- Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
- DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
- Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
- DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
- Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
- DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
- Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
- DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
- Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
- DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
- Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
- DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
- Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
- DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
- Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
- DC: Wait-
- Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
- DC: I didn't-
- Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
- Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
- Marvel: PEACE
7 Things I Wish Parents Would Stop Teaching Their Children:
- That nudity is inherently sexual
- That people should be judged for their personal decisions
- That yelling solves problems
- That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about
- That age correlates to importance
- That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic
- That the default for someone is straight and cisgender
Me: That’s it.
Me: *rips off shirt*
Me: That fuckin tears it.
Me: *puts on boxing gloves*
Me: We’re settling this right now.
Me: *puts on mouth guard*
Me: *steps into the ring*
Me: Winner decides what color Eren Jaeger’s fucking eyes are.
close enough (x)
Marching band situations described in gifs
Teaching newcomers how to march
Volunteering to be line leader
When the director says reset after the first few reps
When the director says reset after the hundredth rep
being told you’re not on your dot
Trumpets going for the high note and missing by a landslide
When something finally goes right and the director’s like:
Before your first show
During your first performance
After your first performance
Guard all the time
Marching Band Situations Described in gifs (part 2)
When the same section screws it up AGAIN
Idiots complaining about rerunning it
that weird run the director makes you sing your parts
Your parents in the stands
That one kid who transferred against their will and always talks about how their old band was better
The director after the first rehearsal
Tubas when they think no one is looking
Tubas when people are looking
When you’re told to make up your own dance for a set
Guard all the time